Alright, so after some moment of solitude from washing the dishes, I've thought things over. Everything that my mom said is true. But I will NOT, ABSOLUTELY NOT go to prep/cram school. First of all, I've already got things planned on how I'll pass the next year of high school. Secondly, prep school would take away time that I could use for volunteer work or studying. Thirdly, I really really have to do well this high school year or else the remaining wouldn't even count. I understand why she has came to this conclusion, and I know it's my fault for not being productive and spending the summer away gaming. I thought I'd cry but I didn't, and I'm glad because I don't want to look weak in front of her. I did think that I'd cry when my dad was on my side and said that I am average and good enough, and that I don't need to go prepping. I'm so thankful for him. I really am. Ugh, my eyes are tearing again.

I don't want to spend the rest of the summer gaming, but I just can't make myself study. My mind just drifts off someplace far far away. And when reading, my eyes are moving from line to line but the words are not coming into my head.

Alright I should stop complaining. I want to be someone who my parents think locks herself up and play games all the time, but secretly, I'd be studying like crazy. Then when I take the test, I'll get a really high score and show it to my parents like "vio la!" It impatients me thinking if this will end up as simply another imaginative thought or if it'll really come true.